The Power of Forgiveness

Written by Justin Deimen.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." – Catherine Ponder

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. “ – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many spend large measures of their lives looking for bliss; to be happy and content. But at the same time, we hold so much pain and anger and resentment inside of us about unfortunate events and hurtful people from our past. When we reflect on these things, our mind becomes a tapestry of unpleasant memories, emotions and feelings but the way we are now, is what we use to build our future lives. There’s healing in forgiveness and one of the most relevant answers to building bridges to a happier life is to forgive. To forgive the unforgivable, to forgive hurt with kindness, to forgive the undeserving and to forgive ourselves.

It’s always important to note that forgiveness isn’t just about anyone else. Forgiveness is primarily a personal exercise in spiritual, mental, and emotional reconciliation. Consternation over past and present slights has to do with our own fragile egos and pride. We turn to anger as a shield, obstinate in our hate that becomes a barrier towards trust and reconciliation that festers and eventually warps into something ugly and maleficent – a cycle of ill will is thus created, ensuring a mutual destruction of sorts. Famed self-help columnist Ruth Crowley aptly said: "Hate is like an acid. It damages the vessel in which it is stored, and destroys the vessel on which it is poured."

A story from Iran crossed my path recently that really emphasized the power and depth of forgiveness in this world. Is there such a notion of the unforgivable? The love of a mother is one of the most powerful forces in the world – if not the greatest. The act of destroying such a bond could be considered unforgivable – but not to Maryam Hosseinzadeh whose dramatic story of forgiveness at the imminent execution of her son’s killer grabbed the world’s attention a couple of weeks ago. Face to face with the opportunity to exact state-sponsored revenge on her 18-year-old son’s murderer, Madam Hosseinzadeh and her husband did something extraordinary.


7 years ago, her son Abdollah was stabbed and killed during a street brawl. His attacker, another young man known as Balal, was sentenced to death by hanging through a public execution and the victim’s parents were allowed to deliver the act of vengeance by knocking out the chair under him. But when the moment finally came this week, Balal, a hood over his head and with his weeping and powerless mother watching the inevitable, was given an unexpected reprieve in front of a crowd when Madam Hosseinzadeh approached the gallows and did not kick the chair but instead, she just slapped him and turned away. The victim’s father then removed Balal's noose as Balal's family, who had been pleading the executioners for mercy, broke down and thanked Abdollah’s parents.

I started thinking a lot about forgiveness in the last week. I thought about the people who have come into my life and disappointed me, those who have seemingly betrayed me or my friends, those who have shown terrible form in conducting themselves in their personal and professional lives. I thought about the many people who have hurt people and animals I care about deeply. I even thought about the things I’ve done that might have been hurtful to other people as well and I wondered if those entanglements could have been avoided, or fixed – whether they were instances of malice or misunderstanding. I hope to be able to forgive those who I feel have done me wrong, and most importantly, I hope I can be forgiven by those whom I have disappointed.