Caring for the Elderly - A Quick Start Guide

Written by Karrell Cruz.
Having been raised by my grandparents, I’ve always had a soft spot for the elderly.  Sometimes we get so caught up with what we think are priorities that we forget about things that really matter such as family. Here are a few steps to help show love and compassion for the older people in our lives….here’s the EVERYDAY QUICK START GUIDE to caring and assisting the Elderly – make it a lifestyle!

1. Give up your reserved seat on the bus or the train
There shouldn’t be a need for advertisements on the bus or the train to encourage people to ‘Give up their seats’. This is something that should be innate to everyone. Don’t pretend to sleep or be on your phone, offer your seat to people who need it more.

2. Try to buy some tissue packets
Going at a dollar for two packets of tissue, I know that these tissues being sold by some old people at the hawker centers in Singapore are a bit pricey.  However, it’s really not about the price, it’s about helping these old people with their daily needs. Besides, we don’t mind spending thousands on signature bags, a dollar for auntie or uncle shouldn’t be a big deal. Think about this way – what can a dollar really buy you these days? But knowing that the elderly tissue seller walks around every day – rain or shine – for that dollar and it puts a whole new perspective on the value of a dollar. While you’re at it, strike up a conversation with him or her. For that dollar, life changes for you and for them.

3. Help carry their groceries
Every time I see an old person who can barely walk and still has to carry their groceries by themselves, I shrink up a little inside.  Next time you see someone in need of assistance, help them carry their groceries or heavy bags. You know you want to. And you not approaching them says more about your own aversion to striking up a conversation with a stranger than it does about anything else.

4. Be Patient
One fascinating thing about Singapore is how easily the visually impaired can take the public transport by themselves and this is down to great planning and the kindness of strangers. People are always willing to help them take the escalator or direct them to the correct train. We should also be willing to help the elderly with these things, visually impaired or not. Many times, we’re so in a rush that we tend to dismiss anything and anyone that hinders our pace but we must not forget that the elderly are also moving as fast they can. Extend courtesies if you see them looking lost or unsure in public. We tend to forget but the world has moved so quickly that many in our elderly population are still catching up – it’s our duty and responsibility to make sure that they do not get lost along the way.

5. Help Them Reach Your Tray
When eating at hawker centers in Asia, help the auntie or uncle cleaning your table to reach for your tray faster. You can pick up your tray and put it back at the designated area after eating or at the very least, help them reach your tray instead of letting them bend through you to take it from you. Yes, I know you might be lost in conversation with a dinner buddy but be aware of your surroundings. Not only will you be able to have a clean table sooner, you’re also helping make their job easier.

6. Greet Them
We have no idea what the elderly people go through every day. When you see some old people, try to greet them. A simple “Hello auntie” or “Good morning uncle” goes a long way. It cultivates politeness, not just in you but in society. Wouldn’t we all love to live in a community where everyone can just speak to one another in a happy and positive way each morning or evening when we’re usually tired going into work or coming out of it? And even if they don’t reply or feel uncomfortable with the sudden and unexpected kindness, doesn’t it make you feel good knowing that you’re slowly cracking the ice a little by little?

7. Volunteer
On your free time, you could allot a few hours of your time to volunteer at homes for the elderly. You could talk to them, play games with them, or just show them somebody cares. In fact, learning from their stories and experiences is one of the best things any young person can do. There’s a wealth of ideas and perspectives in them. Wouldn’t knowing about your country and people – the history – of your community be a real kick? They want to tell you as much as you’d enjoy hearing them!

8. Call Them
We’re on our phones all the time. We hold it in our hands more than anything else. Instead of spending every waking hour checking and updating your social media accounts, you could spend a few minutes calling your grandparents. I make it a point to speak with my grandmother every day even for a couple of minutes. This not only lets her know I think of her, it also gives me warmth and happiness being able to talk to her. Give it a try. Sometimes this is all you need to make everything seem a little better.

9. Say Thank You
When you’re at work and the elderly cleaning lady cleans out your trash bin, say thank you. When you’re in the toilet at an establishment and the elderly person mopping the floor stops to let you pass, say thank you. When at the hawker centers and the auntie or uncle sells you your morning fix of Kopi-O, say thank you. This is a small way of acknowledging them and appreciating what they do. The positive feelings of showing and demonstrating gratitude is one of the most ‘viral’ aspects of life – your good vibes will brighten up their day, and in turn, they’ll brighten up someone else’s day. It can all begin with a simple ‘thank you’.

10. Smile
Every time I see an old person, I cannot help but smile. Looking at their wrinkles on their skin, you cannot help but think of the many experiences and situations they’ve been through, or the many adventures they’ve had – they are proof of life at work. Next time you see an elderly person, just give them a smile. Acknowledge that they know more than you do, that you appreciate the life they’ve lived, and that you’re happy to see them.